


Learning to Hate Yourself (as a defense mechanism)

by Terezilover222



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: AU where they live, Drabble, F/M, Sad parts, im tRYING TO COPE WITH THEIR DEATHS OKAY JESUS FUCK
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-22 08:46:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9597638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terezilover222/pseuds/Terezilover222
Summary: K. Ashburr has been a small time rebel pilot, she tended to not group with the other rebels, but when she see's an opportunity to save a small amount of them on Scarif while on her own mission. She takes the risk.-She's gonna be a bit of a mary sue until i get her whole story planned out, so complain as much as you want-





	

-Ashburr's POV-

I left my ship in the hands of my crew, composed of three people, to handle the CS(Cargo Ship)-Calamity. I needed to get down there on Starif to get my 'shipments'. And hopefully not get blown up.... Again.  
As i cruised down on a larger pod as a slightly bigger ship than mine flew down, thank the force no one saw me. That would'a been a mess to deal with. I quickly flew down to next to the ship that was landing. Good, bushes. I hovered the ship over and slipped out of the front window, I touched a button under the hatch and the ship faded in to match the surroundings. I turned to look at the ship that just landed, 'wait, those aren't. Oh my God. Those are rebels?! Holy shit thats..' I froze as my eyes landed on him, the man who I had the best one-night stand with. Well, he said it was a one night stand, I'd had preferred he had stayed with me.

I shook my helmet off my head so i could properly hold my face in my hands, my black-dyed hair being pressed on to my scalp with a stupid, hard plastic helmet was beginning to make my head scratchy anyway. I looked around, i saw three or four people begin to approach it. "What. The. Fuck!? How..God damn it Cass." I slipped off my normal clothes and put on my low-ranking general outfit quickly over my nude form before walking calmly over after hearing soft grunts from the ship, probably knocked the three people out...."Cass what are yo-... Oh hello who the hell are you guys? Where's Cassian?!" I began to get a bit nervous as a few of the men raised their weapons at me, "Hey! This is a disguise you asshats! Chill!" My hand slammed to my side, ready to take out my 'secret weapon' out of my fancy Empire satchel. "Wait, she is speaking the truth. The force is safe around her. It settles as if..." A monk looking man froze as he made eye contact. I stared at him, he's...Blind?

"Chirrut what do you mean?" A tank-like man asked. He seemed to be pretty tough, not to mention that sweet weapon! It looks like it could take down hundreds of storm troopers! "She is strong with the force Baze, she even has a light saber, though it is not hers." The blind one, Chirrut, tilted his head at me. "Hey, it was my fathers and his fathers before him, do not insult me with such assumptions of theft!" My back straightened as I stomped a foot.

"Whats with all this bickering out here? Isn't this a damn sneak attac-" Cassian emerged from a door with a girl as he buttoned up the top of the, stolen, Emperial suit. I felt my heart break a little, soon to be repaired with fury and anger. He can break my heart, but mess with someone else's, especially a young girl like that one, in front of so many men! "Kira? Why are you here?!" My attention was snapped back to the, sadly, hot as fuck man.

"I don't know, why are you messing around with a pure girls heart?!" I saw the girl look between me and Cassian. "Play, with...My heart? Oh, wait no! we just changed into these so we could sneak in! We didn't..No i would never do that with uh, him." She motioned over to Cassian. I looked at her with pitty, I know a love-sick girl when I see one but, maybe she'll realize he's not a keeper for youngin's. I sighed, "Alright, I trust you. Anyway, what are you guys doing? You only have 12 or so of you from the looks of it."

"Rebellion Ms. Kira, we are Rogue One. We are going after the plans for something called the Death Star. It's our only hope to defeat the Empire." Chirrut softly said, a smile plastered on his face. "Rebellion eh? You need someone who's...Experienced i suppose, with the force?" Chirrut smile widened, "So you are a jedi." "Well i mean, sorta, I know how to use the force somewhat. Nothing insane, but i can still help out." I tugged on the grey hat, trying to find a perfect form for it. "Absoloutly n-""Yes! It's been just greaaat having only sweaty men around me. And one robot." the girl looked over to a Emperial robot. "What..why..How did you hack that?!" I grinned, "I bet it could fetch a pretty price-" "Hey, no selling me off you idiot. I am sentient on my own, I am ingenious, and I find now these men should have shot you when they saw you." "Oh my god it's sassy too, I LOVE IT!" Kira laughed quietly. Cassian was a bit un-easy, and nervous too "Not now, we'll need someone to get us out of here and I'm assuming they'll figure out this is our ship out. You have yours hidden, yes?" Cassian grabbed my shoulder reassuringly, a fake smile on his face. "Of course, I'll keep you guys safe, hook me up too the coms, and before you head out let me at least touch your shoulders or something, I can track you with the force, plus if youre wounded i can find you easier." The men nodded, quickly a walked around, introducing myself to each member, shaking their hands.

Once i got to the girl I gave her a soft smile. "No need to be formal with you, I am Kira Ashburr, it's nice too meet you my dear." She smiled back at me, "It's so nice to have a girl now. It'll make me a bit...happier to say the least, I am Jyn, nice too meet you Kira." Jyn, cute. Just like her. I patted her shoulder softly, suddenly i felt words slip through my mouth "The force is protecting you, it seems it always has. Do not fear anything Jyn, you are safe. My Stardust." I faulterd slightly, taking in sharp breaths. Jyn's eyes began to water. "Why...H-how..." I lifted my self up,panting slightly from the sudden flood of the Force coming from what ever that was, "I... Like i said, i do not fully know how to control the force. Sometimes, the force and those who live within it send messages to those i touch. I'm assuming that was from someone close to yo-" Jyn clung to me suddenly, "thank you..."

Cassian stood "No more time to waste, we need to go now."

-timeskip-

Everything was going to shit, i felt a few men die, but even then, it still hurt me. The force around them fading to the rest. I was hidden in the bushes, rocking back and forth when someone got killed or hurt. Thats when i heard it, the sound of a bomb go towards the ship. "The pilot!" my feet moved with out thought into the ship, his eyes where the one thing i remember before warmth blasted around my back as i tackled him into my chest, covering his body with as much of mine. The force was spreading from me to him, to shield us. I helped him up and ran with him to my small ship that was still hidden within the bushes . "Are you okay? Shit your leg..." His leg was badly burned, "it's.. it's okay! I got the message out! I'll be fine, please, I felt the force in that moment, those men need your help, go!" He pushed me back, clutching his leg near his chest, pain in his face. I felt it suddenly too, they were trapped. I needed to get over there now. "The switch, they need to hit the switch." The pilot, Bohdi, spoke to me calmly despite the pain in his face. I nodded, "I heard, be safe, here's a blaster." I threw him my white blaster as i pulled my bike off my back holster, the engines in it humming to life as soon as i snapped the thing into it's full shape. I kicked off and i flashed towards the men, Chirrut and Baze, those two where my main focus.

As i came into view, once again i saw a bomb being thrown right at another, but this time it was the one who was with the force, he was too good to die, not another, no more are dying here. I let out a scream, I can't make it, I know I can't. Chirrut turned to look at me, a soft frown on his face. I felt my self reach out, this is new, unknown, it feels like a thousand stars are burning within me. Suddenly the bomb flew back too the trooper who threw it. I leaped off my bike and tackled Chirrut to the ground in a fit of tears, once again i knew the force shielded both me and him.  
"Do not scare me like that monk! I have felt too much pain from these men's deaths. I do not need another." He remained silent, a smile on his face, "You have great power Kira, but that power now wasn't of light. Know that. It was of fear and pain. But, right now, let it out on those troopers let us get back to kicking ass!" His voice suddenly changed from serious too that of a warrior. I stood up with him, "Go back to the shelter, do not let them come out till i say so. I will take care of these troopers. The force is with you Chirrut, go, you are shielded." I reached back too my pack, flung my hat off, and breathed, the pain. I felt it again. Tears jurked at me. "K..K-2.. I liked you.." I looked up, the feeling came back, burning rage flew through me.

-Quickly to 3rd POV-

"The force unsettles around a creature about to pounce..." Chirrut softly said to Baze once he got back into the sheltered area. Baze sighed, "She is not using the light is she?" Chirrut shook his head, "I'm afraid not, but she is controlling it surprisingly well."

-Back to Kira's POV-

I deflected one blast after another smoothly with my purple light-saber, sure i got nearly singed a few times but hey, so it goes. Soon i realized there wasn't many left, so i let the force handle the rest. These men have inflicted pain on those i know and me, they will not do it again. I let out a blast, sending the rest of the troopers to the ground, lifeless. Suddenly i felt a panic, i turned to see a green light blast down into the water, panic set in, i knew what that was. I rushed back to the men, "We need to go! Come! I grabbed Baze and Chirrut and pulled them up onto my speeder, the rest of them akwardly sitting on the edges of the thing, thank the force this things strong enough for 10 people to sit on it. and thank the force there was only about five men left. I latched them on with the force, silly i know, but dont need them flying off mid drive before quickly flying them to my ship. "Get in now! Help Bohdi onto my ship, I'll start it!" I ran in the side entrance, there should be enough room for the remaining men. Soon they where all huddled in, sitting down on the empty floors as I flew to the beach side where i felt them, Cassian and Jyn. As I hovered down i saw them, they where sitting together, watching the explosion it seems. "you...are alive!?" Jyn cried out as she lifted Cassian to his feet as the side door opened for her, she looked at me in the pilot seat, i gave her a smile and hurried motion to jump on.

She climed on, and helped Cassian on after her. he seemed pretty beat up, "Let go!" The side door closed and i aimed, I saw the ring was down. It was good to go, "Everyone hold on!" I pulled a leaver and the ship momentarily went into hyper-space. Stopping right by my ship. "Oo, good timing." I pulled the ship into the main cargo area and let everyone off. "Wait here, I'll send my medic down, I need to drive this baby!" I ran as fast as i could. "Captain Joko! Trade off time! Get the Doc down into the cargo bay! We got injured Rebels!" I slammed my way over to my ship's head, grabbing the platform infront of me, moving different buttons as i bolted us away with hyper-space. We slowed out of it and we ended up near a small trading planet i care not to learn about.

I pulled the ship into a steady halt. We moved no longer, time to rest.

I handed it off to my right hand girl, Mayki, a Bothen woman who i respected with my highest honors, she saved my life and my crews many times. It was time to check on them. On Jyn. On Bodhi.

 

On Cassian. 


End file.
